Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Be lucky for what you have

I was taking a walk with K the other day, he was in the stroller and I was pushing him along. The walk was a little too long for both of us, and K started to cry and get restless...and I thought, "Hey kid, be thankful you get to stroll along, with someone pushing you. God knows, I wouldn't mind being pushed around in a stroller." And then my next thought was, "Actually, that's silly to think. He wants to be up and out and crawling/walking around. Not belted in, subject to my whims (speed, sun in his eyes, hills, boring scenery)."


It's beginning. And if left unchecked, I could be saying, "Hey, we walked to school in the snow, uphill both ways, no shoes, and then had to come home and use a CORDED phone!" Saying that K should be "lucky" to experience something is really silly. He doesn't know what my life is/was like. He's on his own path. He probably doesn't feel lucky to be in a stroller, not in control of his journey. He's not tired. His feet aren't aching. And he doesn't care what his Vitamin D count is (that's why I wanted to walk, but I didn't ask him if he wanted to walk).

I have been a bit worried that I would start designing K's life based on my experiences. For some things, this makes sense. We don't want to give K sugar, because I believe it's actually more than just a bad thing in his specific body (K's ancestry, from both sides, did/do not bode well with sugar in all its processed forms). Not just because I'm a "hippie mama." I used to say, "NO Disneyland!" But then, I realized that I could HELP make Disneyland a fun experience (proper sleep, snacks, timeouts, etc), rather than the feared experiences I witnessed when I went as an adult. He's not just some kid, he's our kid. With that, comes us, and our communication as parents and as a family about how we can make the most of experiences.

It's interesting to examine things like this. At almost 36 (yikes!), it's easy to say, "Been there, done that," and then skip over experiences because I've judged them to be whatever, or I've simply already experienced it. I hope I can remember that K has a beginner's mind. He is not jaded or bored or incapable of wonderment...he's not even a year yet! I don't want him to see that I'm "over it," because then he might think that it's not cool/fun/worth it (kids tend to want to be like their parents, aunts and uncles, grandparents, etc.).

I'm not sure how my parents did this. My mom did do new things for her (and of course it was new for me), but she also repeated things willingly (many a trip to Snoqualmie Falls, trips to Israel, Belize, Europe, etc). Balancing the "been there" with the "new and exciting," I guess.

Anyway, I really don't want to start telling K how lucky he is, or that he should be grateful. He'll figure out soon enough what he's grateful for. Doesn't make much sense if I keep telling him what HE should be grateful for. I'll just focus on what I'm grateful for...:)

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